Are we gonna lose Gareth?

Well, well, well, what a season this boy is having!

He had an outstanding game against West Ham, scoring twice, and last week he helped Spurs knock a French team out of Europe.

Oh, you thought I was talking about Gareth Bale? No no no, take a closer look at that picture. That's Under 19 winger Kenny McEvoy or 'mini-Bale' as he's been dubbed by AVB. On Wednesday, he told a newspaper in his native Ireland,

"When I’m walking down the corridor and meet Gareth, the two of us sometimes stop, look at each other and break out laughing. He is a player I look up to because he’s fast and scores goals. They’re probably my main strengths too.” 

The resemblance is uncanny, let's hope his footballing ability is just as similar!

He also said,

"Spurs is a great club for a young player like myself to develop at. Learning from world-class players such as Bale can only help my career.”

But for how much longer will Kenny be seeing Gareth in the Spurs corridors? Rumour has it that Real Madrid are lining up a £70 million bid for our Welsh wizard and the odds on us losing him seem to be getting shorter by the hour. 

A Paddy Power spokesperson was quoted on the bookie's official blog saying, 

"We sympathise with Spurs fans who must be half hoping Bale reins it in a bit and plays more like Adebayor for the rest of the season. Although it would be a shame to see him leave the Premier League the prospect of a Bale / Ronaldo combo at Real Madrid has world domination written all over it."

Fuck off Paddy Power. 

Why in the world would Bale want to move to Madrid? He's currently the top man at a big club in the best league in the world. Spurs are have a good chance in the Europa League this year, and are looking increasingly likely to secure a Champions League spot for next year. Okay so maybe we're not competing for a league title, but neither are Madrid. They're currently 16 points behind Barca and are the underdogs going into their 2nd-leg with Man United in the last 16 of the Champions League. 

Okay maybe they beat Barca tonight, but noone gives a monkey's shite about the Copa del Rey. Noone knows if the Mr. Mourinho will be there next season, and now suddenly there's lots of talk that Ronaldo might move back to England. There's also the whole Modric thing. Last month Modric was voted the worst La Liga signing of 2012. This is guy who looked like one of the best midfielders in the world at Spurs. They've ruined him, and Bale would run that risk too. Madrid doesn't allow players to develop or even become accustomed. Instant Champions League success is the only aim, it's a soulless club. 

And on top of all that, Bale's only 22. It would be far too early make such a big leap. On his current form, he looks one of the greatest players I've ever seen wear the shirt. If he stays, he might one day become a true Spurs icon. It's that kind of club. Can you say the same about Madrid?

Personally, I'm confident he'll stay. If we qualify for the Champions League, he would be crazy to leave. He is one of the (possibly the biggest) driving forces behind our push for a top 4 finish. Why would he leave something he helped to create. Who knows where this team could be in a few years time, if only players like Gareth Bale stay. 

I think he will.

Although if he does go, Levy could probably give young Kenny McEvoy the number 11 shirt for a while, and escape out the back door before anyone notices..

COYS!


Make sure to follow us on Twitter @hotshothotspur

Wet Spam 2-3 SPURS - Thoughts + Player Ratings

Tell me why I don't like Mondays? 

We're third...it's UnbelievaBALE!

Look, no matter what anyone says, we're not a one man team. But tonight we were. Gareth Bale just single-handedly won us three very important points. He started by giving us the lead in the 13th minute and he finished by scoring a stunning last gasp winner.

We started nervously and failed to retain the ball. We could have easily found ourselves a goal behind in the opening minutes, but thankfully Gareth went past a few players and found the bottom corner with a fantastic finish to put us ahead early on. Then, in typical Spurs fashion, we let Wet Spam back into the game. We were all over the place and they were finding it easy to get into goal scoring range. And then Scott Parker conceded a penalty, which Andy 'grease-face' Carroll  converted. Disaster! But it got worse. Joe Cole finished well in the 58th minute to give the spammers the lead. And it would have been 3-1 but for a fine piece of goalkeeping from Lloris, when Taylor was through on goal.

Bale was instrumental in getting us back into the game just as it looked as if it was slipping away. It was his free-kick in the 76th minute, that led to the goal-mouth scramble that eventually resulted in Sigurdsson sticking the bastarding thing in the net. Although the equaliser brought a degree of relief, every Spurs fan knew a draw wasn't enough. We needed another goal, and who would be the man of the moment, only Gareth  Bale (Bale, Bale, Bale)

What a run this boy is on. 8 goals in 6 games.

Jussi Jaaskelainen had a brilliant game. He frustratingly saved three Steven Caulker headers as well as a whole host of other chances. Bar something truly special, we weren't getting past him. (Well that or something truly scrappy, like Sigurdsson's goal!) Happily, Gareth produced something special, twice!

Now we head into Sunday's game with Ars*nal full to the brim with confidence and 4 clear points ahead of them. If it wasn't for that last piece of Bale brilliance, the Arse would have been able to overtake us with a win. That 90th minute goal was crucial to our hopes of finishing in the 'Top 4'. I can't stress it's importance enough.

What I'm trying to say here is...BALE! BALE! BALE! BALE!

Okay so there were a few other players on the pitch! Here's how the lads rated:

Hugo - 8 Excellent again. Not as much to do as his opposite number, but didn't put a foot wrong. Made a fantastic stop from Taylor to save us from falling further behind.

Special K - 4 Made one brilliant block to stop a Jarvis shot but was otherwise a disaster. Constantly giving the ball away and running into trouble. Put needless pressure on himself and his teammates

Daws - 6 Solid performance from Daws but struggled a little against Carroll in the air.

Caulker - 7 Looked good at both ends of the pitch. Made a few excellent tackles, and was unlucky to be denied by the excellent Jaaskelainen three times!

Verts - 3 Totally at fault for Wet Spam's second goal, and looked ropy all-round at left back. Poor display.

Azza - 6 Didn't get the service he needs to make a real impact, but still managed to get a few nicely lofted crosses in to the danger zone, and tracked back superbly.

Parker - 4 Failed to control midfield and gave away a penalty. Looked okay on the ball but still off the pace.

Mooouuuuussssa - 6  Unlucky to pick up a yellow card early, but didn't stop him continuing to make big tackles. Should have kept the ball better, but found some nice passes. Not his best showing, but still played an important role.

Bale <3 - 9 Scored two crackers, and whipped in a great free-kick for the other goal. He's probably had better performances, but he was a one-man show tonight. Wasn't so hot with the direct free-kicks this time... but I guess nobody's perfect! (He's getting close I hear you cry!)

Holtby - 5 This was a big test for Holtby and he passed, but not with flying colours or anything like that. He put a couple of decent balls in and he ran and ran and ran, which is great to see. He wasn't involved as much as he might have liked, and he didn't really get a chance to be creative

Ade - 2 Lazy and useless to put it bluntly. Didn't offer anything as a target man, and made no effort to get into dangerous positions. He also missed an absolute sitter after Sigurdsson's shot rebounded off the keeper.

Subs

Siggs - 7 Came on near the start of the second-half and started by beautifully curling a shot that struck the upright. continued to look very lively and spread the ball well. I've been very critical of this boy, but hopefully we see more of what he showed us tonight from now on.

Livermore - N/A Came on pretty late-on for Parker. Looked comfortable and strong on the ball as always, but didn't have enough time to put his stamp on the game.

Carroll - N/A Came on with 15 minutes to go, so not really enough time to get a rating. Stuck to short passes and didn't make any mistakes.


So that's it folks. We're now sitting pretty in third place, two points above Chelski, and 4 points above Ar*enal, who we play on Sunday. By winning on Sunday, we could make the gap between us and them seven points! And if we're looking at the table with our new found 'big club' attitude, then we're just the five points behind Man City. Is second place realistic? Comment us!!

I guess some Monday's are better than others eh?

COYS!


Follow us on Twitter @hotshothotspur

Has the tide really changed in Norf London?

If you read the Sun this morning, you'll have seen that our Welsh wizard, Gareth Bale, reckons we're better than the Arse.

He's quoted as saying, 


"I think five or 10 years ago Arsenal were always miles ahead of Tottenham. But that has changed in recent years. Over the past few seasons we have closed that gap and I think now we have overtaken them on the pitch. I think we have the stronger squad."


I think we have the stronger squad too. And considering we're on better form, and a point ahead with a game in hand, we're deserved favourites to clinch a 'Top 4' finish.

But hold on a second! Yesterday, Ars*ne Whinger said,

"We are in a catch-up situation and we depend a little bit on the results of the other teams but vastly on our consistency.

The key for us is to be consistent and that is why today a draw would have been a very, very bad result for us.”

In other words, Whinger reckons if Ars*nal put a few wins together, Spurs will inevitably crumble and the Arse will sneak into 4th. Well, fuck you very much Ars*ne, I've got news for you. We're not going to crumble, and by Sunday week, this blogger predicts we'll be 7 points clear. 

But this is the whole problem. Attitude. Ars*nal still think they're in this race, but if we win twice in the next 8 days, it's all but over. Nothing they can do about it. It's in our hands. So let's toughen up Spurs, we need to show a 'big club' mentality, and we can start by putting Wet Spam to the sword tomorrow night.

And on that note, I'll finish this quote-fest with one from Thursday night's hero, Mr. Dembele. Earlier today, Moussa said, "We don't have to fear any team. People have respect for us. If you're in a winning mood it's important in the league."

True that Moussa, true that.

COYS!

Follow Hot Shot Hotspur on Twitter @hotshothotspur

Preview: Wet Spam (Away)

Monday
Upton Park
8pm

Possible team line-up:

                  Lloris

Walker Dawson Caulker BAE

Lennon Parker Dembele Bale

                 Holtby

                         Adebayor



This would obviously be a big game anyway, 'cause we f*cking hate them, but we NEED another three points to help us stay in this very comfy 4th spot. At the same time, Wet Spam will be looking for a point or three to move them closer to safety. (They're probably safe, but it feels better when there's still a chance that they might go down).

We should win of course. Apart from the obvious gap in quality, we're heading into the game on the back of Thursday's nights success in Lyon and wins in our last two PL games. The spammers on the other hand have only won once in their last 8 games. We've had to play more frequently than they have recently, thanks to our Europa League commitments, but I don't think there's any risk of fatigue given we had last weekend off. Plus, looking at it from the other side (which in this case is not something I like doing), they won't have played a match in over two weeks, which surely can't be good for sharpness or match fitness.

I'm hoping AVB leaves out Dempsey, and plays Holtby behind Adebayor. Dempsey has had a good chance to prove himself now, and hasn't put in one big performance. I'm not saying he won't come good, but at this stage of the season, AVB needs to be basing his selection decisions on form. I thought Holtby looked a bit lost on Thursday night, but I still think his previous showings would justify choosing him ahead of Dempsey against W*st Ham. Vertonghen put in a good shift against Lyon on Thursday, and I'd like to see him retain his place, but I reckon AVB will revert to Daws and Caulker. As long as Gallas isn't included, I'll be happy enough. Kaboul remains out injured. With Defoe and Sandro also still out, the rest of the team picks itself, and looking at it, I reckon we'll win comfortably.

Right, that's it for now. Cant wait for Monday night. We can all look forward to some gas-chamber noises, some foreskin chants and then us drubbing the shit bastards 7-0 (hopefully!). Take that you racist f*cks.

YID ARMY

COYS!

Lyon 1- 1 SPURS (2-3 on agg) - Thoughts + Player Ratings

Europa League - Last 32, 2nd Leg.


Bit late for this post, but work's a bitch, you know yourself!

So we're through to last the 16...just. We went into the game with a 2-1 lead, but Lyon only needed to score once to be ahead in the tie, thanks to an away goal from the first leg. That goal came in the 17th minute, and although Lyon were pretty much rubbish, we didn't look sharp enough to get one back.

Then out of nowhere, in the 89th minute, Mooouuuuussssssa pops up with an unbelievable strike to send the travelling fans wild and the boys in to the next round. It was some finish. Picks up the ball a couple of yards outside the box and rifles it into the bottom corner. Woah Dembele bamalam! - you know the tune:

Dembele has been an absolute rock for us this season. A lot of people have recently been labelling Spurs as a one-man team. Well that just can't be the case, because when people say that, I have to ask them whether they're talking about Bale or Dembele.

Player Ratings

Friedel - 7 Not a huge amount to do. Couldn't do anything about Lyon's  goal. He made a couple of decent stops, one in particular from Grenier. Looked like he might have given away a penalty, but it turned out to be a blatant dive and he did well to get out of the way.

Walker - 4 Another below-par performance by Special K. One of our best, but currently off form. Gave away quite a few sloppy free kicks, including the one that led to the goal.

Gallas - 7 Played surprisingly well. Solid in defence and actually got forward quite a bit. Still think he needs to retire or drop down a league, but I'll give credit where it's due.

Verts  - 7 Played much better than he has been recently. Him and Gallas were far more solid than I anticipated.

Benny - 5 Has been dodgy this season, and was found out of position far too much last night. Still looked decent going forward as usual.

Lennon - 6 Tracked back well and made some decent runs, but never really got into the game.

Parker - 3 Was awful in the first half, constantly lost possession. Less calamitous in the second 45 but didn't take charge at any point. Not the player he was last season. Subbed for Livermore late on.

Dembele - 6 Wasn't his best display all-round. Didn't ghost past players the way he usually does, but who carees, he scored an absolute peach to send us through!

Bale - 7 Not a classic performance by his standards. Should have scored from a sublime adebayor cross. Still had a few flashes of brilliance and looked one of the biggest threats on the night.

Holtby - 5 Wasn't involved as much as he would have liked. Almost totally vanished in the second half before being subbed. Had a good effort hit the post just before half-time.

Adebayor - 6 Looked his best in a long-time. Still lazing around a lot, but gave a few beautiful passes and showed a great first touch. Maybe some day soon he'll get a goal.

SUBS

Sigurdsson - Was only on for 15 minutes or so, not enough to judge really, but made no real impact.

Dempsey - Only on for 25 minutes, was as ineffective as usual. Got up a well to win a header but sent it a mile over the bar. If I was to give him any credit, he looked like he was working quite hard.

Livermore - Only came on late, not enough time to judge.

Below par performance all round really, but we just got over the line. That said, we were playing a good side and we definitely proved ourselves as the better side over the two legs. Still would like to see a few players impose themselves more (Adebayor, Parker, Lennon..)

So we've got Inter in the last 16. When we played them in the Champs League a few years ago, we produced some serious magic, particularly through the boy Bale, let's hope for more of the same. 

In the meantime, we've got the small issue of a lovely derby against Wet Spam on Monday night.. 

COYS!

Preview: Lyon (Away)

Europa League - Last 32, 2nd Leg.


Probable/possible team line-up:

Friedel; Walker, Gallas, Vertonghen, Assou-Ekotto; Parker, Dembele; Lennon, Holtby, Bale; Adebayor

There are some amongst us that don’t see the value in the Europa League. They believe AVB should be solely focusing on the race for a ‘top 4’ finish, and his team selections should reflect this.  Personally I’d love to see some silverware at White Hart Lane this season, and the Europa League is our only shot, so l’m happy the manager’s rolling out the big guns again. Also, we haven’t had a game in a week so it’s crucial that players like Dembele and Bale get a chance to keep up their form.

Right. We’re going into tonight’s second leg with a 2-1 lead thanks two smashing free-kicks from Gareth Bale.  It’s the narrowest of leads and it’s going to be tough to hold onto. I’m worried about the back four, and if you’re not, there might be something wrong with you? Get checked. If, as most of us suspect, we start with Gallas and Vertonghen, then Parker and Dembele are going to have a mighty job on their hands, as might SuperBrad in nets (USA! USA!) Out of the back four, two (Vertonghen and Assou-Ekotto) are on dodgy form and one (Gallas) needs to retire FAST.

When you consider that Parker’s off-form too, and Adebayor still hasn’t proven he has any interest in playing football, it starts to seem like we’ll be relying heavily on Dembele and our two wingers AGAIN. The good news is we CAN probably rely on those three to get us over the line. There’s also one wild card. It looks as though Lewis Holtby will start, and judging by the German’s impressive performances so far, he could make a great playmaker. Hopefully Adebayor shows up so he has someone to pass the ball to.

Unfortunately the game has been overshadowed by 50 scumbags attacking some of the travelling Spurs faithful in a pub last night.  Luckily, everyone escaped with only ‘minor injuries’. Witnesses say the ‘attackers’ were throwing up Nazi salutes. SCUM.

Hopefully it doesn’t stop the Yids on Tour continuing the party…NEWS JUST IN…It won’t.

And hopefully our boys take some revenge on the pitch tonight!

COYS!

Will we finish 'top 4'? Just give me a sec and I'll find out...

'Oh you're a Spurs fan, do you reckon you'll finish fourth this season?'

As a Spurs fan, you're probably being asked this a lot lately. I always reply, 'Nah, we'll finish third mate.' And then I think, 'I'm definitely not answering next time someone asks me if I'm a Spurs fan.'

The real answer to that aggravating question is I don't know, obviously. But continually being asked has made me want to come up with a better answer. Maybe we can figure this out! Let's start with what we DO know. We know we're currently in fourth place, a point behind Ch*lsea and four points ahead of Ar*enal.

In fact, here's the table.

POS		LP	CLUB	P	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	PTS
1		(1)	Manchester United	26	21	2	3	62	31	31	65
2		(2)	Manchester City	26	15	8	3	48	24	24	53
3		(3)	Ch*lsea	26	14	7	5	55	28	27	49
4		(4)	Tottenham Hotspur	26	14	6	6	44	30	14	48
5		(5)	Ar*enal	26	12	8	6	50	29	21	44
6		(6)	Everton	26	10	12	4	40	32	8	42
7		(9)	Liverpool	27	10	9	8	49	34	15	39

It's just really nice to look at it, isn't it? Four points ahead of them. Let's keep it that way Spurs.

Looking at the standings, I reckon the race for the last two Champs League spots is between us, Ch*lsea, Ars*nal and Everton. I included Liverpool in the table, but they're surely out of the running considering they're 9 points away and they've played a game more than everyone else.

What else do we know? Well we know each team's remaining fixtures. So let's see if we can work out (roughly) how many points each contending team will take. Obviously we can't, but we should be able to have a decent stab at it! Bear in mind, these are my personal predictions. If you disagree, or on the other hand freakishly agree with all of my calls, let me know in the comments!

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Ch*lsea

3rd place; 26 games played; 49 points.

Man City - Away           LOSS                                                                                                      
West Brom - Home       WIN                                                                                                      
Foolham - Away            WIN                                                                                                      
W*st Ham - Home        WIN                                                                                                      
Southampton - Away      DRAW                                                                                                    
Sunderland - Home         WIN                                                                                                    
SPURS - Home             WIN
Liverpool - Away            WIN
Swansea - Home             WIN
Man United - Away         LOSS
Villa - Away                    LOSS
Everton - Home               WIN

By my calculations, Ch*lsea are taking home 23 points from their last 12 games, giving them a total of 72 points. I'll explain why. They'll lose to Man City. City need the win more than Ch*lsea. The Premiership title is United's (if it isn't already) if City fail to win in any of their next few games. Plus, City are at home.

The lucky bastards are then playing West Brom, Foolham and W*st Ham, all of whom they'll beat because they're all floating in mid-table and have little to play for in real terms. I reckon Southampton will get a big point against Ch*lsea in their fight for survival. Southampton are going to be scrapping like dogs, and St. Mary's will  be a tough place to go towards the end of the season.

Sunderland next, another mid-table side going to Stamford Bridge - easy win for the Chelscum. Then WE play them in what could be a 6-pointer (as they say). Chelsea are at home though, and have the better squad. They will still have a lot to play for,'ll beat us. Liverpool, whether they like it or not, are a mid-table side and therefore by my logic, Ch*lsea will beat them. Despite Swansea being unbelievably brilliant and all that, I predict that they won't be playing for much with a few games to go, and Ch*lsea will want it more.

Last three games. United, the champions elect, will win at Old Trafford - No doubt. I can't see Villa being relegates, and they'll have to get their points from somewhere. I predict that they pick up most of their points at Villa Park, and I'm optimistically saying they'll get a big win here. I reckon Everton will fall away at the end of the season, but they'll always give you a tough game. Still think Chelsea will just about do them though.

Jesus, that was epic. My logic will remain largely the same, so hopefully Ars*nal's tally doesn't take as much explaining!

Ar*enal

5th place; 26 games played; 44 points

Villa - Home                  WIN
SPURS - Away             LOSS
Everton - Home             DRAW
Swansea - Away           WIN
Reading - Home            WIN
West Brom - Away       WIN
Norwich - Home            WIN
Foolham - Away            WIN
Man United - Home       DRAW
QPR - Away                 WIN
Wigan - Home               DRAW
Newcastle - Away         LOSS

Right, I have come to the annoying conclusion that The Arse could pick up 24 out of a possible 36 points. That would leave them with a final haul of 68 points. Here's my reasoning. They'll beat Villa, cause they're at home and need a win, and Villa are shit. Then we'll beat them at the Lane. We're the better side, we're at home and we want it so much more, so fuck them, three points please and thank you gooners.

They'll find it hard against Everton, and unlike Ch*lsea, they'll be playing the Toffees before (in my opinion) they really fall off, due a lack of depth in their squad blah blah blah. Swansea will have already started their fairly rapid decline me thinks so the goons will pick up 3 points there. It should be tough against Reading, who will be fighting for their Premier League lives, but unfortunately Le Arseholes are the better team and their at home. For the same reason as Chelsea, they should breeze through West Brom, Norwich and Foolham.

I can see the pricks getting a point against United at home. They're still capable of a decent result against a big team. Maybe it'll keep the title race alive, doubt it though. 'Arry's new boys are going down, like it or not, and Ar*enal will win easy there. On the other hand, I think Wigan will escape, so hopefully they snatch a point at The New Library. Then, right at the end, they'll lose to Newcastle. This depends on how close Newcastle are to the drop but I still they still might need a result on the last day to be totally safe. Let's hope they get it!


Everton

6th place; 26 games played; 42 points.

Norwich - Away          WIN
Reading- Home            DRAW
Arsenal - Away            DRAW
City - Home                 LOSS
Stoke - Home              WIN
SPURS - Away           DRAW
QPR - Home                WIN
Sunderland - Away      DRAW
Foolham - Home         WIN
Liverpool - Away         DRAW
W*st Ham - Home       WIN
Ch*lsea - Away           LOSS

According to me, myself and I, Everton are going to amass 19 points from their remaining 12 fixtures, leaving them on a total of 62 points. Okay, so they'll beat kind-of mid-table Norwich, draw with relegation-fearing Reading, and then tie with Ars*enal for reasons mentioned above somewhere. They'll lose to City who are just a better team, and might yet be playing for the title. They'll beat Stoke who have nothing to play for and then I think they might get a point at the Lane. We're obviously the better team, but it can always go one way or the other when we play Everton. Or in this case, neither way. Everton won't have fallen away yet and I think they'll prove hard to beat. QPR will be pretty much already relegated at this stage barring an 'Arry miracle, and I think Everton will stuff them. Sunderland away won't be easy and I wouldn't back Everton to put together a string of wins that late on in the season. They'll beat Foolham for the already over-explained (obviously simplistic) reasons.

The Merseyside derby is always tough to call, and I think Liverpool will be even more wound up for it than usual. Particularly if it's looking like Everton are going to finish ahead of them in the League. They'll beat Wet Spam cause they're shit, and they'll lose to Chavski who are better and will finish the season stronger thanks to their superior squad.

Lastly, the mighty Spurs!

Come On You Spurs

4th place; 26 games played; 48 points;

W*st Ham - Away         WIN
Ar*enal - Home              WIN
Liverpool - Away            DRAW
Foolham - Home            WIN
Swansea - Away             DRAW
Everton - Home              DRAW
Ch*lsea - Away              LOSS
Man City - Home            LOSS
Wigan - Away                 DRAW
Southampton - Home      WIN
Stoke - Away                  WIN
Sunderland - Home          WIN


My predictions give us a total of 22 points from our final 12 games. That would leave us on 70 points.
Here's my reasons. First up, Wet Spam away. Fuck them, we are a vastly superior. Just because it's their cup final doesn't mean its a big game for us any longer. Piss off, three points thanks. I've already explained that we're beating Ar*enal. So that's that. It would be very unlike Spurs to put a huge string of wins together and so I think we'll drop a couple of points at Anfield. Yes they're not great, but it's still not an easy place to go, and I think we'll take them too lightly. Foolham - easy win thanks.

Everton will still be hanging in there and as always when we play them, it could go either way. Or more likely, it won't go either way and we'll have dropped two points. Chelsea and City both have better teams and I think they'll both still have a lot to play for. I don't think we'll get any points out of those two unfortunately. Hopefully I'm wrong! Wigan will be fighting for survival and if any of the bottom three are going to escape I think it will be them, so this will be a hard game, particularly away. A dissapointing draw me thinks.

I think those last three games have 9 points written all over them. None of the teams should be a real threat, and if our top boys are on their A-game, we should have three easy wins.

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So that's it. Perhaps I haven't fully taken into account European or FA cup commitments, and obviously I can't speculate about injuries, suspensions, dodgy refereeing and the like, but based on my ropy logic, this is what I'm predicting the table to look like come the end of May. Obviously, I didn't work out the goal difference. Jesus, who do you think I am, Chuck Norris? Superman? Steffen Freund?

POS				P	W	D	L				Pts
3			Chelsea	38	21	9	8				72
4			Tottenham Hotspur	38	20	10	8				70
5			Arsenal	38	19	11	8				68
6			Everton	38	10	12	4				62

Wahey! Makes for happy reading eh? Okay, most of it, in fact all of it is complete and utter guesswork. Well, sort of educated guesswork, although it's based on common sense, and as we all know, football doesn't do common sense. But for now let's pretend this is fact, and cold hard proof that Spurs will finish in the top 4. So next time you're asked, you know what to tell them!


COYS!